Just noticed that Toyota is advertising on this blog. Must be thanks to this post.
Watch for future posts featuring blistering attacks on such top 10 online advertisers as Netflix, Vonage Holdings, AT&T, Scottrade, InterActive Corp, General Motors Corp, Experian Group Limited, NexTag, Verizon Communications, Apollo Group, and what the heck, Coca Cola, Pepsi, Apple, Sony, Nestle, Proctor & Gamble, Unilever, Cisco, Microsoft, Anheuser Busch, and Victoria’s Secret.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
ObamAdvice Part I
You’re elected President of the United States of America.
Economies can rise or fall on your words.
Your rhetoric can inspire downtrodden people around the world to rise up and overcome tyranny.
The world’s greatest military is duty-bond to follow pretty much any order. Highly trained, equipped, and motivated units can put your words into action nearly anywhere in the world.
Tyrants poop a little in their pants if you direct harsh words against them.
So what does Herr Obama do with this astonishing power and respect built up over 200 years by the words and actions of some of the greatest men who have ever lived?
He gives obvious advice and useless tips. Obama has reduced the presidency from Leader of the Free World to The Guy with Free Advice.
Like that Water Cooler Guy at the office.
You know who Johnny’s talking about. If the Water Cooler Guy’s not chilling near the water cooler, he’s attending or calling for time-wasting meetings. You’re never quite sure just what the fuck WCG does.
And though you don’t know what WCG does, he sure as shit knows what you do. And how you can do it better.
That said, WCG is infinitely preferable to Obama since WCG can’t raise your taxes or generally ruin your shit.
And what advice Obama gives! It’s either dopey, obvious, or disastrous. An abridged list:
• Make sure your tire pressure is correct. You save gas that way!
• Don’t go to Las Vegas
• Don’t use your kid’s tuition to gamble in Las Vegas
• Borrow money to meet payroll
• Don’t watch cable tv or read newspapers or mess around on the interweb
• Be careful what you post on FaceBook.
Look, the temptation to offer your hard-won Rules of Thumb to the world citizenry must be irresistible. Who wouldn’t want to tell the people “only use the left lane to pass,” “don’t walk backwards,” or “put up your own drywall but get a professional to do the plastering.”
But Jeezus man, do it the first week, get it out of your system and move on to fulfilling the duties of the world’s greatest elected office.
That said, Johnny will post more ObamAdvice as it is bestowed upon us. Including the intrusive, cynical advice from the other Obama, Michelle. After all, the ever-charming and oh-so-helpful First Couple has at least three more years left on their lease.
Economies can rise or fall on your words.
Your rhetoric can inspire downtrodden people around the world to rise up and overcome tyranny.
The world’s greatest military is duty-bond to follow pretty much any order. Highly trained, equipped, and motivated units can put your words into action nearly anywhere in the world.
Tyrants poop a little in their pants if you direct harsh words against them.
So what does Herr Obama do with this astonishing power and respect built up over 200 years by the words and actions of some of the greatest men who have ever lived?
He gives obvious advice and useless tips. Obama has reduced the presidency from Leader of the Free World to The Guy with Free Advice.
Like that Water Cooler Guy at the office.
You know who Johnny’s talking about. If the Water Cooler Guy’s not chilling near the water cooler, he’s attending or calling for time-wasting meetings. You’re never quite sure just what the fuck WCG does.
And though you don’t know what WCG does, he sure as shit knows what you do. And how you can do it better.
That said, WCG is infinitely preferable to Obama since WCG can’t raise your taxes or generally ruin your shit.
And what advice Obama gives! It’s either dopey, obvious, or disastrous. An abridged list:
• Make sure your tire pressure is correct. You save gas that way!
• Don’t go to Las Vegas
• Don’t use your kid’s tuition to gamble in Las Vegas
• Borrow money to meet payroll
• Don’t watch cable tv or read newspapers or mess around on the interweb
• Be careful what you post on FaceBook.
Look, the temptation to offer your hard-won Rules of Thumb to the world citizenry must be irresistible. Who wouldn’t want to tell the people “only use the left lane to pass,” “don’t walk backwards,” or “put up your own drywall but get a professional to do the plastering.”
But Jeezus man, do it the first week, get it out of your system and move on to fulfilling the duties of the world’s greatest elected office.
That said, Johnny will post more ObamAdvice as it is bestowed upon us. Including the intrusive, cynical advice from the other Obama, Michelle. After all, the ever-charming and oh-so-helpful First Couple has at least three more years left on their lease.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Blue In The Face or The Blue ’Tard Group
Pali-stan protestors paint themselves blue to emulate popular fictional characters. fiction. Didn’t Libtards denigrate Western Civ because Druid priests painted themselves blue?
The smear would contrast some lofty achievement of an ancient non-Western culture to the Brits who were “painting themselves blue.”
On the other hand, if these activist wankers also follow British tradition and evolve past the blue paint to become consummate statesmen, explorers, and pop stars, well, it will all be worth it.
The smear would contrast some lofty achievement of an ancient non-Western culture to the Brits who were “painting themselves blue.”
On the other hand, if these activist wankers also follow British tradition and evolve past the blue paint to become consummate statesmen, explorers, and pop stars, well, it will all be worth it.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
PC Values vs Driver Safety
Toyota’s latest woes bring to mind this sorry chapter in the Corporate Hall of Shame.
In 2001, Toyota sucked up to the race baiter Jesse “Der Stürmer” Jackson.
A company that shovels EIGHT BILLION DOLLARS to a self-promoting neomarxist makes other bone-headed moves.
Like selling cars that accelerate to 120 mph with or without the driver’s say so. $8 billion could have paid for a lot of R&D.
Toyota will be mired in the courts for years. The lawsuits will make Ford’s woes with the exploding Pinto a walk in the park.
Speaking of Ford, they’ve just about overcome their rep for shite cars. It only took about 30 years.
Johnny’s even tempted to set out a tip jar to defray the cost of an F-150.
In 2001, Toyota sucked up to the race baiter Jesse “Der Stürmer” Jackson.
A company that shovels EIGHT BILLION DOLLARS to a self-promoting neomarxist makes other bone-headed moves.
Like selling cars that accelerate to 120 mph with or without the driver’s say so. $8 billion could have paid for a lot of R&D.
Toyota will be mired in the courts for years. The lawsuits will make Ford’s woes with the exploding Pinto a walk in the park.
Speaking of Ford, they’ve just about overcome their rep for shite cars. It only took about 30 years.
Johnny’s even tempted to set out a tip jar to defray the cost of an F-150.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Cool Site
New site on the blogroll.
Corrupt.org is written by a gang from a number of free countries. The site takes on conservative libertarianism, cultural issues, politics, and economics in a lively way. And while Johnny believes most disputes can be settled with fisticuffs in the parking lot, rational arguments have their place.
This Keynes vs Hayek video is brilliant. And in HD.
Corrupt.org is written by a gang from a number of free countries. The site takes on conservative libertarianism, cultural issues, politics, and economics in a lively way. And while Johnny believes most disputes can be settled with fisticuffs in the parking lot, rational arguments have their place.
This Keynes vs Hayek video is brilliant. And in HD.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Cynic Vs Skeptic
Too many people are confusing the terms cynic and skeptic.
Being suspicious and jaded is not the same as being cynical.
A cynic is someone who pretends to be helpful to others but is really helping himself.
A skeptic is someone who suspects someone’s motives or evidence. Quite often those under suspicion are cynics.
Happy to clear that up.
Being suspicious and jaded is not the same as being cynical.
A cynic is someone who pretends to be helpful to others but is really helping himself.
A skeptic is someone who suspects someone’s motives or evidence. Quite often those under suspicion are cynics.
Happy to clear that up.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Pick-Up
America is the homeland of a few yet important art forms.
Jazz.
Blues.
Comics.
The pick-up truck.
The French may have named the sedan and the coupe. But the pick-up truck is as American as a shot of whiskey depth-charging a glass of beer.
The pick-up is built for work. Even the name is American. Pick-up. Two one-syllable words nailed together with a hyphen. No swishy cabriolet or gran turismo.
Pick-up is hard-working name. It’s a verb. It’s a noun. The pick-up is called by what it does.
A man who mocks the pick-up would mock the hard hat. The brown bag lunch. Or throw a baseball like a Belgian.
Maybe there just wasn’t a flag around that He could light on fire. (And then piss on to take credit for putting it out.)
Oh, the fodder for the next batch of election ads. Enough to fill the back of a pick-up.
Jazz.
Blues.
Comics.
The pick-up truck.
The French may have named the sedan and the coupe. But the pick-up truck is as American as a shot of whiskey depth-charging a glass of beer.
The pick-up is built for work. Even the name is American. Pick-up. Two one-syllable words nailed together with a hyphen. No swishy cabriolet or gran turismo.
Pick-up is hard-working name. It’s a verb. It’s a noun. The pick-up is called by what it does.
A man who mocks the pick-up would mock the hard hat. The brown bag lunch. Or throw a baseball like a Belgian.
Maybe there just wasn’t a flag around that He could light on fire. (And then piss on to take credit for putting it out.)
Oh, the fodder for the next batch of election ads. Enough to fill the back of a pick-up.
The Squanderer
Obama squanders everything He touches.
He is squandering the good will of an American people who wanted to prove for the Last Fucking Time that they weren’t racist. (Of course, voting for a Person of Tint because of his* skin color is as racist as not voting for someone because of his skin color.)
He is squandering the credit and treasury of the United States. Guess what folks. Rich people can spend themselves poor. Happens all the time.
He is squandering any respect for his office. Over 400 speeches. Over 100 “exlusive” interviews.
Obama’s more overexposed than Brittany’s twat.
He is squandering the good will of an American people who wanted to prove for the Last Fucking Time that they weren’t racist. (Of course, voting for a Person of Tint because of his* skin color is as racist as not voting for someone because of his skin color.)
He is squandering the credit and treasury of the United States. Guess what folks. Rich people can spend themselves poor. Happens all the time.
He is squandering any respect for his office. Over 400 speeches. Over 100 “exlusive” interviews.
Obama’s more overexposed than Brittany’s twat.
Clinton Sits Out Obama SOTU Address
Drudge’s headline is a bit misleading: HILLARY DECIDES: SKIP STATE OF UNION.
Actually, Obamarama is exiling The Pantsuit. Temporarily. This time.
He dreads the networks slipping in a shot Shrillary smirking and mouthing the words “I told you so” in the middle of his flop-sweat drenched speech.
UPDATE
So we weren’t treated to The Thigh Master mouthing “Told you so” in the middle of the Maximum Leader’s reedy hectoring. But we were treated to Justice Alito’s “No, that's not right.”
That’s the polite way of saying “You lie!”
Obama truly is a douche.
h/t The Corner
Actually, Obamarama is exiling The Pantsuit. Temporarily. This time.
He dreads the networks slipping in a shot Shrillary smirking and mouthing the words “I told you so” in the middle of his flop-sweat drenched speech.
UPDATE
So we weren’t treated to The Thigh Master mouthing “Told you so” in the middle of the Maximum Leader’s reedy hectoring. But we were treated to Justice Alito’s “No, that's not right.”
That’s the polite way of saying “You lie!”
Obama truly is a douche.
h/t The Corner
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
