Hussein Economic Policy

The current Hussein Administration is following a troubling economic policy. (And no, not the troubling economic policy of Hussein shoving banana republic socialism up the American body politic like a teamster reaming a convention hooker.)

But Johnny digresses.

The troubling economic policy is this: Islam does not tolerate usury or paying interest on loans.

When you borrow money within an Islamic economy, the lender takes a percentage of your business or asset.

Charging interest is a Jewish thing. Muslims hate it. (To be fair, so did a lot of European Christians throughout history. But they got over it.)

Steeped in Islamic law and culture, President Hussein in every instance is planning or has already taken a percentage of a business that has borrowed money from the feds. Even when that business can repay the federal loan.

Flush with his success at capturing huge chunks of the private sector, the Prez is now casting his baleful eye on thousands of homeowners across America.

It seems people will tolerate slavery if they themselves are the ones enslaved.

European-Style Socialism Would Be An Improvement

Conservatives who fear Obama push for a European-style socialism are wrong.

Obama doesn't have that much class.

What Americans can look forward to is South American-style socialism.

Stat

This says that 1 in four Americans text while they drive.

Do 1 in 4 Americans even drive? Or did they mean 1 in 4 Americans who drive?

This report is yet another attempt to influence more legislation using sloppy research.

Texting while driving should not be illegal.

However shoving the PDA far up the rectal cavity of any drivers who cause an accident while texting should be.

h/t Drudge

Paying Back That American Debt

You know all that multi-trillion debt you, your kids, and grandkids, great-grandkids, ad infinitum owe the government?

If you can't pay off a debt, you have to work it off and/or pay huuuuuuge interest rates.

So this is what Americans can look forward to in the years ahead:

(a) Crippling South American-style inflation as the government prints money faster than a whore wipes herself between johns. This (hyper-inflation, not whore-wiping) will compel workers to spend all their paycheck the day it's paid because hyperinflation chews away its value on a daily basis. Say adiós to savings.

(b) Government-enforced work. First, socialist ideologues will contribute their time voluntarily. When that fails, out-of-work people will be pressed into service. Finally, prisoners. (Not so much criminal prisoners. Political prisoners can be found in greater numbers and are far less violent.)

Still want to spend piles of money you haven't earned?

Mrs. Obama Get Ironic

“Everyone should have a chief of staff and a set of personal assistants, (Mrs) Obama said with a laugh as she spoke before a crowd of business executives...”

Ha ha ha.

It’s funny because she’s finally first in line at the public trough and she's doing something the bourgeois have been excoriated for since 1964.

No word from the Washington Post whether the “crowd of executives” shared the laugh.

Johnny suspects they were all grins and nervous chuckles but the smiles never reached their eyes.

(HT Drudge)

Next Photo-Op: Strangle Kittens

Was Brown visiting Windsor Castle?

Pity the hapless aide who allowed the nearly blind Brit PM to be photographed in the same room as a swastika.

The Conservative Challenge

Does the world needs another “What Republicans Need to Do Next” think piece?

And does it need it from an obscure blog written by a recovering poster child for Tourette Syndrome?

Hell yeah. No one else is.

So here is Knuckles way for Republicans to stop behaving like asswipes* and start becoming leaders again.

As a note, there will be a lot of marketing analogies. They are somewhat limited analogies, but will help communicate the main point. Also, the Republicans started it by talking about “branding.”

That said, the first thing Republicans need to do stop talking about their “brand.”

They need to stop thinking about what voters think about them. Because what people think about them really doesn’t matter.

Let’s put it this way: a cola company hires and ad agency to advertise their brand.

If the cola company fails to sell more cola, it’s not because of the ad agency’s image.

Improving the agency’s image won’t sell more cola.

The agency needs to focus on their client’s brand. Not their own brand.

This applies to the Republicans.

They need to focus on America’s brand.

Maybe now is a good time to define branding.

A brand is more than an image. A brand embodies what an entity is and what it promises.

America’s brand was built on the Constitution: Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness.

It’s was created, earned, and protected many times by the blood of thousands of its citizens.

It’s time Republicans to become brand champions for America again.

Throughout their history, Republicans have always stood up strong for America.

Democrats cannot consistently say that. Democrats look to Europe and elsewhere for their inspiration. They are quick to blame America and by extension economic liberty and even reason for the world’s ills and disappointments.

Among all their failings, Republicans can point to a proud history of protecting the ideals of America domestically and abroad.

It is the one thing that Republicans are good for.

So forget your own image, dear Republicans, and focus on the one brand that makes liberty a possible dream for its own citizens and freedom-loving people around the world.

Stand up and protect the American ideal.

You’ve been brand champions for America before.

Time to do it once again. (And need Knuckles tell you that it won’t be the last time?)

It’s a huge challenge and opportunity.

But then, so is America.

*Sorry, only word that fits how Democrats treat obedient Republicans.

Whaddabunchafuckingoofs Pt. 3

Originally written 7/27/04


Via AP/Yahoo...

Ben Cohen, co-founder of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, demonstrates the set-up on a 12-foot-tall effigy of U.S. President Bush (news - web sites) with fake flames shooting out his pants. (AP/Jeff T. Green)

Because Ben is a Democrank, his assclownery isn't technically news.

But if Ben were an outspoken conservative and the effigy was a dues-paying member of the nanny state, well then, this picture would be everywhere. Print, broadcast, editorial cartoons.

And Jerry would have to carry on the business solo as Ben got an anal exam by every journo therapist-wannabe.

Update: AP no longer carries this item, but MSNBC does.