Thursday, September 08, 2011

Which Candidate Would You Hire With Your Money?

Let's say you inherited a multi-million dollar company. The company is doing okay. But it lags among its competitors.

The management is tired but you don't know how to reorganize the company. Besides, you now have a lot of cash and you want to take that world cruise with your family.

You have the budget to hire one superstar CEO. Someone to analyze and balance all the competing factors that impact the success of your new cash cow: the company, management, manufacturing or service structure, distribution, suppliers, labor contracts, marketing, competitors, foreign markets, new business opportunities, etc, etc.

The CEO you hire will demand autonomy for at least 4 years. You will not be able to fully influence his or her decisions.

You are given a list of names and—this is where we leave the real world for a second—they consist of:

Rick Perry
Mitt Romney
Michele Bachman
Ron Paul
Rick Santorum
Newt Gingrich
Herman Cain
Hell, let's throw in:
Barack Obama
Hilary Clinton

But is a business leader necessarily the right leader of a country?
How about a list of these names:

John F. Kennedy
Ronald Reagan
Jimma Carter
Barry Goldwater
George H. Bush
George W. Bush

Please discuss among yourselves.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Mercedes Hands



Quick PhotoShop of the insufferable "Peace Hands" showing up all over.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Personality vs. Character 2

Well, shit in Johnny’s beard and punch it.

According to Google, Johnny Knuckles is a Global Authority on personality vs. character.

Actually, this site would rather be a Global Authority on doing tequila body shots with your best friend’s fiancĂ©.

But then you can’t have everything.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Good Taxes. Bad Taxes.

Taxes going to favored groups, industry, and individuals is morally corrupt. Wealth redistribution is bad. It’s wrong and nothing makes it right. Government is not a charity.

The incorruptible way to “spread the wealth” in a free society is through the free market.

Taxes for infrastructure, military, cops, firefighters and even general bureaucracy is morally neutral.

These benefit everyone equally. The money isn’t being used to enrich targeted groups or individuals.

Even if you don’t drive on the roads, you buy the groceries delivered by truck.

Even if you hate the military and cops, they still protect your ass and ensure your right to protest. Or in the recent case of Billy Ayers, the right to privacy.

Spending taxes for the police, roads, and military is more than enough for any politician to handle. These are vital services and require the constant vigilance of two political parties.

Okay, dreamy time is over. Back to reality.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

H.U.Y.D.C.

Years ago, Knuckles was standing at a busy downtown intersection in a midwestern Canadian city that is occasionally compared to East Berlin.

On the other side of the street, a grizzled, heavy-set man in his fifties was carrying heavy-laden plastic grocery bags in both mitts. The kind of plastic bags that cut the circulation to the fingers.

Another guy who was not paying attention, was on a collision with Grocery Man. Before the Clueless One walked into him, Grocery Man loudly growled, “Heads up, you dizzy cocksucker.”

That got the gus’s attention and he quickly sidestepped before getting trampled.

Heads up, you dizzy cocksucker.

If Knuckles Bar & Boot Camp needed a battle cry, that would be on the short list.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Shut Your Big Fat Mao

Would you look at the dust in this joint? Sweet holy fuck on a stick.

Jacko. Gitmo. Can’t take it no mo’.
Brother, can you spare a rhyme?


While getting up off the storage room floor after a vodka-soaked night with a couple interns from a liberal thinktank, Knuckles had a thought. Oh sure, happens all the time. Not having a thought…spending the night with liberal broads who have lost their will to live. Knuckles not only shows them a fate worse than 40 years as a whining mindless skank, but serves up a wicked Eggo and scotch breakfast. Not that they ever stay for breakfast.

With their newfound love of life, they are usually up before sunrise and quickly leave to start their new, shining life.

So back to the thought. The Chinese Chinese (as opposed to the Taiwanese Chinese, Vancouver Chinese, or the drive-slow-in-the-passing-lane-in-their-beige-Toyota Chinese) only are allowed to have one kid. This has been going on for about twenty years now. Wait. Lemme google it. Okay. More like 30 years. And now they’re relaxing it a bit.

That means an entire generation does not understand the concept of:
brother
sister
aunt
uncle
cousin

Mark Steyn lays waste the idea of Chinese pre-eminence here. Knuckles would also add this: the class of Chinese to whom the One-Child rule applies to (dominant ethnic Han Chinese living in urban areas. Rural and minority Chinese are allowed more children) are all a bunch of spoiled, coddled, “only-childs.” They have never enjoyed the joys of getting ratted out by siblings, late-night Indian rope-burns, and getting blamed for someone else’s crime.

Oh sure, their government will do much worse to some of them later in life. But maybe some Chinese dissidents wouldn’t have been caught in the first place if they had lived with treacherous sibs. How many Chinese dissidents are rotting in prison because they blithely trusted a stranger with a sympathetic ear? Anyone with a little brother or sister knows the warning signs of the snitch.

As noted by Steyn and here, the word Freedom is banned from MSN China. Wonder what happens emailers use the terms brother, sister, aunt, uncle, and cousin?

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Why We Drink, Part 327

Via Drudge and CNN comes this bit of hysteria from the EuroNation.

This “shocking” news is bullshit. Corpses used as crash test dummies? Yawn. Old news. There was a documentary a few years ago that showed all this without the panties-in-a-knot outrage.

Mary Roach's terrific book Stiff came out two years ago and covers this ground and more. Corpes are used for all kinds of shit. Hell, the University of Tokyo collects tattoed human hides fer cryin out loud. (Saw that in a book years ago. Sorry, no link yet.)

Leaving your body to science means it can be used for product safety tests, cosmetic surgery techniques, ballistic tests, hell, premium cat food for all we know. Especially nowadays with animal testing on the Verboten list, testing with human cadavers is more essential than ever.

Knuckles is a bit surprised that the worldly Drudge and cynical EuroWeenies are expressing any shock over the practice.

Maybe it’s just that the EuroWhiners in that part of the world traditionally prefer their test subjects to be alive instead of dead.