The teacher gets an F for losing control. The student gets an A for assbiscuitry.
Here, of course, is the finest response by Johnny Knuckles’ patron saint, Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor. To quote some choice bon mots.
You are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing more than unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit.
(response to ’cruit who cracks wise) Who the fuck said that? Who’s the slimey little communist-shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?
You had best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!
How tall are you private?
Cowboy: Sir! Five foot nine, sir!
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: Five foot nine? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high! You tryin’ to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
Cowboy: Sir! No Sir!
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you been cheated! Where in the hell are you from anyway, private?
Cowboy: Sir! Texas, Sir!
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
Cowboy: Sir! No Sir!
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: Are you a peter puffer?
Cowboy: Sir! No Sir!
Gny. Sgt. Hartman: I’l bet you're the kinda guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I’ll be watching you.
Regretably, the good sarge is martyred. But as you can see, Hartman has a lucid and forceful understanding of the Socratic method of teaching though questioning the pupil*.
One way of dealing with teenage absurdity is to take them step-by-step to their logical conclusion. Not only does the teacher maintain control, but any willful disrepect can become a fine learning opportunity for the rest of the class.
The student here is your average grinning dimwit. But by taking dopey actions seriously you take all the fun out of the prank. You also show the class that you will seriously consider their half-baked ideas...the death of all teenage brain farts.
Acknowledge that the national anthem is offensive to the student and agree that he has the right not to hear it. Inform the student’s parents of his decision not to stand for national anthems and then carry out the administrative proceedures to exempt the student from being in class while it plays. (The administrative process is required in many schools because they need to know who is authorized to hang out in the hall after the morning bell.) Back in high school, the Jehovah’s Witnesses were allowed to step into the hallway during the national anthem and Lord’s prayer. (And then you’d all go dinosaur hunting? -Ed.)
Of course the teacher shouldn’t expect compliance at any time from the student. The student is obviously a fuckwad of the highest order and will continue to sit at his desk in the morning and laugh at the teacher.
But the teacher will now have a solid case for suspending the student for disrupting the class. The teacher could point out that he respected and accommodated the student’s political beliefs but the student refuses to act in good faith. At this point, the student is acting against his agreement with the school, not just against the abstract concept of good citizenship.
If the school fails to back up the teacher, the teacher needs to either get his union to apply pressure. Resigning or ignoring the student’s behavior are not options. Yelling and pulling out the student’s chair are also not options.
When the student says “what the fuck, I’ll stand for the anthem” then the teacher should once again take him through whatever administrative process to reverse the previous decision.
The teacher may even take the opportunity to discuss the student’s “rationale” with him and the rest of the class. Calmly. Patiently. Not for his benefit, but for the class. Nothing exposes the intellectual vacuum of leftism better than a giggling, inarticulate doofus. Of course the teacher needs to have a strong, intellectual basis for his convictions. Otherwise any discussion will slide back to shouting.
The point here is not to be a touchy-feely liberal teacher. The point is maintain control. And in each step, the teacher remains in control with or without the student’s co-operation.
A lot of trouble over a bonehead kid? Sure.
Will the budding lefty benefit? Don’t count on it.
Will the rest of the class learn something? Absolutely. And that in the end is the teacher’s primary responsibility.
Of course a persuasive bare knuckles solution can be carried out by the shitheel’s fellow students. If they don’t have access to towels and bars of soap, they can require the shit-disturber to Assume The Position:
Miscreant stands at parade rest, eyes closed, waiting patiently for a knee to impact suddenly with groin.
1 comments:
Well said. As much as I agree with most of the teacher's sentiment, not only did he get WAY too worked up over a punk kid showing off his brand new plastic cojones by standing up to The Man, he also made an ass out of himself in front of the rest of the class, and that is a bad, bad thing to do if you ever intend to try to run the class instead of just trying to survive it.
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